It Ended - First Cut

I have done a rough first cut to look at timings on my dialogue and to compare this to how i originally planned it in my storyboard.

I showed it to my focus group and they gave me some suggestions to improve my film:

• I should break the longer shots at the start to keep it in time with the dialogue 
• Show another space, or something they shared, to reflect their shared traits like the fact that they both have messy rooms - so this could be a third messy room where they used to live together or a messy car that was shared between them
• Its good that I have 'families' of shots, for example the shots of the characters themselves. But I could add another family, of their past and the remiments of their good times like tickets, birthday cards, valentines day cards, text messages or a crumpled note.
• At the end of my film I could try fading out the 'It' and 'ed.' of 'It Ended.' to leave 'End' to further accentuate the end of the film and of the relationship.
• Lastly, I could also integrate my credits into the last car shot as there is enough black space around the car.